When Security Means Staying and When It Means Leaving

Discernment, repair, and the limits of attachment work

One of the most misused ideas in attachment work is the belief that security means staying calm, patient, and open no matter what. That if you are truly secure, you will tolerate ambiguity, inconsistency, or emotional unavailability with grace.

This is not a secure attachment.
This is endurance.

Secure attachment is not measured by how much you can tolerat…